9 Expert Tips for Planning a Wedding [Staying Focused & Keeping your Cool]
Your big day can be both exciting and stressful. However, it’s important to stay grounded and remember what your wedding day truly means to you. Several brides start to obsess over the minute details, driving themselves into a downward spiral of unnecessary stress and disappointment.
Here are our tips for planning a wedding all the while keeping your cool, avoiding over-thinking the small stuff, and learning to enjoy the planning process.
Tip #1 for Planning Your Wedding: Make a Budget and Stick to It
Nothing is scarier to a bride than going into debt because of her wedding. A crucial tip for planning the wedding is to stay focused on the limits that you have given yourself. We suggest for you to make two lists: one of items that you absolutely must have, and items you would love to have if your budget allows for it. Is that $12,000 dress really THAT much better than that $2,000 dress? You are only wearing it for one night after all.
Stay focused – don’t spend your budget on things you don’t really need. Make it a priority to purchase only the things you REALLY need first, and only after that can you start looking at your second list of not-so-important things that you would love to have. Your wedding day will be beautiful regardless, but it’s better not to start your marriage in debt.
Tip #2 for Planning Your Wedding: Stop Talking About It
Yes, we know you’re excited. It’s okay to relieve some stress to your best friend here and there when things start to get hectic. However, if you’re constantly ranting about how one vendor’s macaroons are so much better than another vendor’s macaroons, then you’re taking it too far. Thankfully there is a reason why brides start to obsess about the small stuff – thanks science.
The emotional transition of going from single to married is more of a strain than most people realize. The engagement period is a scary time and the brain obsesses over unimportant things in order to mask it’s fear and confusion about the changes.
Use the time with your friends to unwind and forget about the stress, rather than drowning yourself in it. No wedding day will be absolutely perfect. Sometimes things don’t go as planned, sometimes there are surprises, and that’s all okay. The best you can do is prepare a bridal checklist to guide your efforts and just remember that everything will work out fine.
Tip #3 for Planning Your Wedding: Don’t Neglect Your Fiance
This is a huge mistake that many people don’t even realize they’ve succumb to. Sometimes we get so caught up in the swing of things that we start to cancel lunch plans or date nights with our significant other. This kind of behavior can put unnecessary space between the two of you and can cause friction over trivial things.
Keep in mind that this is his wedding too, and he is allowed to share his mind about your wedding day plans. If you keep ditching him for appointments with your seamstress/planner/caterer, it will exclude him from the process and make him feel alienated. Always include your fiance in the planning process. Not only will it ensure that the both of you are happy with the final result, it will bring you closer while you make progress together.
Also, make sure to make time for each other and do regular couple things that the two of you love to do. Yes, your wedding day planning is important; but what’s more important is the bond between you and your fiance. Nurture and care for your relationship, that way you’ll have a marriage more beautiful than your wedding!
Tip #4 for Planning Your Wedding: Consider What your Parents are Going Through
A child’s marriage is a huge stepping-stone for parents. It usually marks a change in their identity, going from parent to potential grandparent, which can be really hard for some to swallow. Even though you’re a grown adult, you will always be their baby, and sometimes they won’t know how to cope with the emotions that come with their child’s wedding. It’s no surprise why they might pick fights with you over questionable things or act uninterested in the wedding.
Reach out to your parents and keep in touch with them on a regular basis. They’ll appreciate it, even if they choose not to show it. Listen to what they have to say and make them feel included. That way it will minimize the chance of them feeling neglected and resentful throughout the process.
Tip #5 for Planning Your Wedding: It’s Okay to Ask for Help
Planning a wedding is no easy task. Don’t stress yourself out by convincing yourself that this is your job, and your job only. Make sure to involve your husband-to-be in your decisions, as this is his wedding too. If you want further support, ask one of your friends to help you, or maybe consider hiring a wedding planner.
Asking for help doesn’t show defeat. In fact, it will help you make better decisions and can strengthen your bond between your fiance and friends.
Tip #6 for Planning Your Wedding: Stop Sweating the Small Stuff
I once met a bride who got herself so worked up over her centerpieces that she gave herself an anxiety attack. It was a week before the wedding and the vendor had mixed up the color of one of the flowers in all of the arrangements.
Sometimes things will happen that are out of our control and we just have to learn to embrace the cards that we’ve been dealt. Stressing over minuscule details like flowers, napkins, or the color of your bracelet is unnecessary. Realistically, no one is going to remember those things in a year from now – not even you.
Tip #7 for Planning Your Wedding: Don’t be a Diva
I’ll never forget when one of my cousins was getting married and she had become controlling and bossy. She would bark orders at her parents, siblings, and fiance during family dinner parties because she thought she was worthy of this treatment since she had stressed herself out so much with planning the wedding. Consequently, everyone distanced themselves from her which only stressed her out even more.
Many brides use this kind of behavior to try and pull their friends and family closer. However, it only causes resentment from those around you and causes rifts in relationships. When you feel that you’re starting to lose touch with yourself, take time to reflect on what really matters to you. Entrust one of your closest friends to be honest with you and tell you whether you’re going overboard.
When our family sat down with our cousin to talk about the way she had made them feel, she didn’t even realize how she had been treating them. Always be thankful for the friends and family you have in your life, and make sure to never take advantage of their support. Aside from parties that are specifically for you, make sure to have get-togethers with friends and family where you’re not allowed to talk about the wedding at all.
Tip #8 for Planning Your Wedding: Avoid Crash Dieting Two Weeks Before the Wedding
As the big day inches closer and closer, several brides make a big mistake by cutting meals and hitting the gym every day for the last few weeks before the wedding. Starving yourself and hitting the gym every day may bring on quick results, however, you run the risk of looking drained on the big day. Our bodies need to be nourished, and if we fail to do this then it will show in your skin and face. Crash dieting makes skin look dull and under-eye bags more pronounced, a not-so-cute look for a bride!
Crash dieting also results in significant weight gain after the wedding since we tend to binge once the big day passes. Instead of starving yourself, make it a long-term goal to eat healthy and make good choices well before the wedding. Not only is it better for your body, but it will reduce the stress of having to alter your dress at the very last minute. Dieting is only temporary, being conscious about your health is a lifestyle.
Tip #9 for Planning Your Wedding: Reconsider What is Important to You
One of the best tips for planning your wedding is to plan a weekend getaway for you and your fiance. There’s just one rule – you’re not allowed to talk about the wedding. Several couples who do this come back not only feeling recharged, but also realigned with what really matters.
Your wedding day is a celebration of the first day of the rest of your lives together. Make room in your schedules to spend time together and appreciate all the things that made you fall in love with each other all over again. Marriage is a journey, and it starts with the impenetrable friendship between the two of you.
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