Selecting a bridal party is no easy task and it can become quite stressful when everyone from your best friend, to your next door neighbor are anticipating an invitation. Things can seemingly get out of hand quite quickly and it is important to keep in mind that it is your decision, and your wedding day!
Here are some great pointers on how to pick your bridesmaids to help you make a decision that will make both you and your bridal party-to-be happy.
Write Out Your Attendance Wishlist
Prior to choosing your bridal party, you will need to sit down and write out your anticipated wedding guest list. It’s important to keep the size of your wedding in mind when selecting your bridesmaids, as the size of your bridal party should be relative to the amount of guests you will have.
If you’re planning on having a large, formal wedding, you can have a larger wedding party, however 12 bridesmaids is generally the limit. If you prefer to have a small, intimate wedding, then having a large bridal party may not be the best idea and it may make sense to select just your family members or closest friends.
Think About Who Matters Most
Even though it may be tempting to ask each one of your closest girlfriends – don’t. Give yourself some time to decide what makes sense. Write down your fiance’s picks and consider who would make political sense, such as your brother’s wife just to make him happy.
Don’t forget to consider your fiance’s siblings if he has any. You may not be close now, but they will still be around come your 10-year wedding anniversary. And who knows, you might just become great friends.
If you’re on a budget, it’s a good idea to think critically about who will be your bridesmaid. Besides, who will be paying for their bouquets, hair and makeup, and gifts? Most likely, you!
Set Your Honest Expectations
Are you the type of persons that expects all your 7 of your bridesmaids to be with you every step of the journey? Or do you just stick to two of your closest confidantes? Do you need your A-squad with you on every decision you make? Or is it enough that they wear what you want and show up on the day of?
Taking these things into account will make the decision a little easier since you have to consider the other person’s current life situation. Does your sister live on the other side of the country? Did your best friend just lose her job? Or maybe one of your friends just had a baby and barely has time for a phone call?
All of these things have a huge effect on whether or not that person will be able to keep up with your expectations. Once you ask someone to be your bridesmaid, you can’t take it back. So make sure to consider both sides of the fence before popping the question.
Don’t Ask Someone Just Because They Asked You
There is no rule which says that you have to return the favor if someone asks you to be in their bridal party. Besides, are you really that close with that one friend from college who got married years ago? This is your wedding day, and you should be happy with your decisions long after the day of the wedding.
Don’t Write People Off because of Poor Assumptions
You and your friend have been close for years, but you know she can’t afford that designer bridesmaid dress you’ve had your eye on for the past few months. If you know your friend is having financial difficulties, you still need to let her know that you would love for her to be part of your bridal party. If she still declines, make sure to find another job for her on the big day.
Think of Other Jobs for the Big Day
There are several important jobs on the day of the wedding that need to be delegated to responsible people. Here is a list of just a few of them:
• An MC (if your deejay/band doesn’t come with one)
• Readings during the ceremony
• Giving a toast
• Setting up and supervising games
• Setting up the decor before the party
• Picking up food in the morning
• Picking up flowers
• Delivering things from the church to the hall
• A supervisor for the card box
• Cleaning up rental decor at the end of the night
A Bridesmaid Doesn’t Have to be a Woman
If your closest friend is a guy, there is no reason why he can’t be a part of your bridal party. Even though most people put ladies on one side, and men on the other, there is no rule that you have to follow.
If you do include a guy in your bridal party, he would simply be a bridesman, or an attendant. Similarly, a lady on the groom’s side is a groomswoman.
It is totally fine to have a member of the opposite sex standing by you on your wedding day. If they will make your big day even more special, then there should be no doubt about them being up there with you!
After You Make That Big Decision…
Your next big decision is to pick your bridesmaid dresses. Check out our bridal gallery for some inspiration and ideas for your big day!